Not your cheap thrill.

2008-07-06T23:02:00.005+08:00

I read it and was taken aback initially.
Thanks [: and no apologies needed for saying things that mean good.
It got me thinking actually, and I realized that this is all people can expect from me?
Its quite... sad?
But I wont deny that the hurts and disappointments did get me down, down.
Maybe it meant everything previously, but its something really trivial now.
At least I could still go on or what you say, survive.
That was then.

Now.
Its more than that, friend(youknowwhoyouare).
I'm not surviving because I cant pretend that everything is fine.
Im overcoming it. [:

Its really quite shallow to allow oneself to let those hurts and disappointments take you over.
I'm surviving and have survived it well.
And I'll learn to overcome it one day when I've decided to change. (haha)
However, its no longer about that anymore friend.
(Although sadly, it still matters and I cant put it aside yet)

Its some other matters (closer to heart?) that want to be left unsaid. [:
Or maybe I could turn to you when we're both less occupied with what we have on our hands.

Hugs. [:

I wish I could give you the best.

2008-07-06T02:05:00.008+08:00

050708
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNA AND JEREMY! :D

Went to Anna's party. :D
Happy birthday girl, hope you like your present.

Went to drink with Melody after. All the crappy feelings, thanks for being there love. Still, drinking and crying doesnt make things right at the end of the day, although it felt alot better after sharing (:

Just got home.
Nights.

2008-07-04T21:52:00.018+08:00

Alfresco night today!
But didnt turn up although class is opening a booth - 'GUITARHEROES!'
I got to play it with yiling after school today :D
2 noobs trying to open a concert in 08.
Thanks for the support. (haha)

Met up with Melody at toa payoh after and talked.
Talks are always great but never good enough.
We always have so much more left unsaid.

Met up with Sean at Yishun then head down to Novena for dinner.
AJISEN! (:

Home.

Thanks Melody and yilingmylove ! love.
(:
-

I'll get through on my own.

2008-06-30T00:07:00.015+08:00

Yiling's 18th. (:
Shes a late one, even later than me!

While waiting for her.
Kianhow and Melody found a coconut tree without a coconut to relax.

Yiling finally came after 2 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But its okay, birthday girl so must wait. (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY(23rdjune) MY LOVE!

Bought her favourite marble cheesecake from Secret receipe!

Our safe choice! (:

Dior waterproof eyeliner.

Hope she loves it!

Dinner at Cafe Cartel.

3 of us girls went to a secret place and had lots of fun! :DDDDDDDDD

Seriously never screammm and have so much fun at that secret place for a long time.

Kinda have blueblacks all over now, I wonder who did this!

Thanks for the fun! :D

Home.

Mummy is going for op tmrw but shes gonna be fine. (:

After that, I'm gonna drop off a book and home sweet home!

Yes, going out with a purpose again. :D

Bloghopped.

So random, but I realized I kinda hope to take the Singapore Flyer one day.

I'm crazy. :/

itisntme.

And its quite alright.

2008-06-28T23:30:00.008+08:00

Towned with Kitty to shop for yiling's present!

Had difficulty deciding on what to buy so we decided on a safe choice! :D

Celebrating tmrw with favourites and twin! :D

Kitty has been cranky these few days because of some reasons.

I apologize if its really because of that reason (haha only she knows) but

I suppose she's just kidding. ;D (I hope so!)

Doesnt it kill you to put down what you've been fighting for because you believe in it?

But it gets a lot easier when you learn that what you believe in isnt real.

Thanks to some unknown people (thou shall not be name) for jolting me to my senses.

Sometimes, things people say hurt you unconsciously because those words weren't even meant for you yet they are the ones that enlighten you and bring you out of self-deception and back into reality.

Thanks.

Slept till 3pm today, it was probably the most satifying sleep I ever had for the past few weeks.

Went out only to grab yiling's present.

I like this - going out with a purpose.

I've been aimless ever since then, always going out just to escape and make myself feel seemingly better.

Change is good, and maybe for the better. (:

I let down my highest guard.

2008-06-27T20:56:00.014+08:00

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY NISHA! :D
26th june.

Her party was fun, although there were many people I dont really know. (:
Met up with KT and Edwin for dinner first at Billy Bombers($$$) then Edwin drove us to the party after.
Drank and dance dance dance ! :D
More pictures when they send me :D

Must take a look at Nisha's eskimo picture CUTIE HAHA.

Dinos bought a burberry wallet and wine for her.
Alex (nisha's cousin) sure can drink, he drinks like a camel.
Just 3 gulps down and its gone.
So he made us ALL challenge him in drinking :/
Russell came up with 'true false' and it was all only to make us drink and drink ... :/ Nisha got so wasted. ( but she's a good drinker HAHA)
Took care of her and after all of us squeezed into the room.
Made new friends and the rest just lazed around and watched mtv.
KT finally found people( ray and egg) who shares her unique taste.
Talks and I fell asleep in my small little space.
Left the place with KT and Egg at 6am and cabbed home!

:D
One word, FUN!
Lovesloveslovesloveslovesloveslovesloveslovesloveslovesloves.
Wish I have parties everyday!

PS: Meow is crying and watching JUHUA as I blog.
-

The sleepless night becomes bitter oblivion.

2008-06-24T15:22:00.008+08:00

Swimming over and over again. :D

LOOK IM I WAS SO RED!

Now Im peeling like an onion. ):

I wish I was a mermaid so I can spend forever in the pool.

But Melody says I look like a kampung mei now that I'm peeling.

HAHA.

It was Yiling, my love's 18th yesterday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D

Forcing her to admit something since forever, shes lying to herself!

(i think) I may not be right.

I realized.

Sometimes we are so close to this person and think that we know him/her very well. We act as if we genuinely understand their thoughts or how they feel only to find that we never really did.

I thought I knew.

I thought they were the ones who couldnt see.

Maybe my perceptions blinded me again.

Your just a name without a face.

MYE!

Geog was the crappiest paper, I may get less than 10. ):

Its not one of those silly claims you make right before/after an exam.

I'm as serious as that, I so want to apologize to Mrs Leong cause I feel so bad.

Econs today was rather okay, actually good. ((:

But my results are always otherwise(?). hmmm.

Its Maths on Thurs! I've studied hard for my favourite subject.

I do hope I see results! :D

I'm actually afraid of A'levels, I've never felt so threatened before.

I almost forgot what I was fighting for.

I'm doubtful of my ability.

Can I get through this, and well?

Not forgetting I still got GP and HIST to think about.

PW was a huge disappointment and failure. D:

After looking through, I realized Im only confident of my alltimefavourite subject.

Like what Jeanette says, Im only taking one sujbect for A's anyway. HAHA (insidejoke)

Dont give up, Shirleen! (:

PS: I'm looking forward to NISHA'S and ANNA'S PARTY! :D

Hurry hurry come!

PPS: Hope you are doing well! (:

"Days will come and go by

You will never know why

You're the victim of your own denial

You took the vow of contradiction

Bound by lies and fiction

Holding onto nothing all the while"

I'll hold yesterday in my heart.

2008-06-19T23:01:00.013+08:00

For the past few days.
14thjune.

MELODY. (:

Eating always does good.

This is the remedy to all the bitterness in the world.

LOOK WE FINISHED!!!!!! :DDDDDD

I ate most of it though.
Because I had so much bitterness to chew off.
ITS GOOD - HK CAFE :D

FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD!

-
FATHERSDAY! :D
It was the happiest day I ever ever had with my family.
Spent the entire day with them.
Loveloveloveloveloveloveloveloves.

Didnt take any pictures.
This was from long time back.

Look at this!

Claudia just sent it to me.

GUESS WHO GUESS WHO!

OMG CUTIE :D

Swimming tmrw with Melody! :D

2008-06-14T20:48:00.011+08:00

Send Colin off today.
Took a picture with Nat's camera.
Shall upload when she sends me.

Hey you. (ifyourreading)
Please take care and study hard! :D
Keep in touch.

Thanks Nat for everything today! (:
-

I feel ________(fillintheblank).
I really have no idea either, my feelings are thrown into confusion.
If I have to use one word to describe it,
it would be ache.

This is my best.
I've never been so honest to my feelings.
Your apathy kills me.
Or has it killed me?
I so wanna hide and slip on a paper bag over my head, dig a deep hole
and allow myself to die of embarrassment there.

I'm sad.
But you're sadder.
That doesnt make me any less sadder.
In fact, more.

For you. (:

Cant put on a smile anymore.
Did my best there.
Met up with SYY and ate lunch with Natalie at whitesands after.
Both of them had plans while I went off to meet Melody!
While waiting for Meow alone, I found my own space.
I finally let it all out.
After supressing them all inside from way back then.

Reached home at 6 plus because I couldnt keep awake while we're out.
Yet when I reached back home and take a nap, I couldnt fall asleep.
I didnt know ache could keep people awake.

Despite my smiles and nonchalance, I wish I knew.
I really wished I knew.
I really wished you know what I wished I knew.

I miss you, love.

My most favourite.

2008-06-11T22:48:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, I know if I hold on too tight to my balloon, it might burst.

If I dont want that to happen, I must let it go.
Even if its my most favourite thing.

Because it is meant to fly.

(:

This is how I can tell you I love you in the best way that I can.

Thats all I can do for you;
My most favourite thing.

Go on girl.

2008-06-11T12:10:00.005+08:00

COUSIN!

Smiles are the happiest thing in the world. :D

LOOK ALIKE!

Had HAPPYMEAL! for dinner.

MACS do not serve 'sweetchilli' anymore! ):

Its really sad, it used to be my favourite.

And still is!

UGLY TOYS.

It used to be so desirable back then.

Look at these weird figures now. :/

HAPPYMEAL! :D

Just because everything's changing doesnt mean its never been this way before.

2008-06-11T00:32:00.008+08:00

10th june!

'Allthewayyyyy!' Thanks Meow, it helped! :D

Caught 'Sex and the City' with Colin today.

Thought it was rather lengthy though.

***GOOD NEWS OF THE MONTH.

I'M INVITED TO NISHA'S PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:DDDDDD

I GOT THE INVITATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SOOOOOOO EXCCIIITTTINGGG CANT WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-06-06T23:32:00.007+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOH YING YING !!!!! :D
-

2008-06-02T15:16:00.007+08:00

The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish them- words shrink things that seem limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure you enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried when you were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller, but for want of an understanding ear.

Let me down gently.

2008-06-02T01:43:00.006+08:00

LOOF! today with Yiling, Melody and her friends for KEYNOTES.
Saw a few cj people around.

Not many familiar faces, but many pretty ones.
WOW.

Lychee martini is not nice. :/

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Cabbed home cause there was no bus.

Goodnights.
-

Beauty in walking away.

2008-05-31T00:45:00.005+08:00

Met up with Nat,mygirl today to pass her stuff.
Pictures! :D
Shall upload more when she sends me.
Saw many ppl ard like MANY MANY MANY MANY familiar faces.

Met up with Joshua in the night.
OMG We're so crappy, seriously.
WOOS!
:D

2008-05-27T21:08:00.006+08:00

Dont know why people always say, ' Goodnight, sweet dreams.'
Why do we think that dreams are sweet?
Yes they are, if you dreamt of something that happened/is about to happen.

But we all know that dreams are just something(s) we wish for,
but will never never happen.
Thats why they're called dreams.
No?
How sweet can it get, waiting for something that will never never happen?

Am sick today.
))))))))))))))))))):
Its been long since I've been that.
Really shouldnt be.
15mins of sleep at Joyce's house felt good(really!)
and then studystudystudy all the way at Starbucks with Sean.
Quite terrible I didnt know how to do almost every other qn.
))))))))))))))))):

Met up with Natmygirl yesterday and bumped into Cindy today!
Makes me smile all the time.
Miss my dinos too, if they are even still around.
Hope so, they mean alot.
Loves. :D

-

2008-05-25T21:17:00.005+08:00

Yesterday pictures! DRESS DAY!

LOOK!
Nice cap/hat! HEHEHEHEHHH

MELODY.

SHIRLEEN.

Sorry for the highly annoyed post yesterday.
YL asked if my lil heart was okay (HAHA) of course it is ! :D
I was just over annoyed.
Quite like a spoilt child who doesnt get things her way.

GSSGSSGSSGSSGSSGSSGSSGSSGSSGSSGSS
I WANT TO SHOPSHOPSHOPSHOPSHOPSHOP
AND BUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUY
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
!!!!!!!

Time to start studying for H2.

-

Stranger.
Exchanging words with you always makes me smile (:
But it only makes me realize that we dont really have much to say to each other.
How do I continue loving someone whom I dont know anymore?

Cause I want to know ;
howareyouhowsyourdayanythingthatmadeyouupsetanythingthatmadeyousmile
whatsyournewfetishwhatareyourplanstmrareyoufeelingwellareyougonnasleepearly
tonightwhatsyourdreamwhatsyourwishwhatdidyoueatareyouhungrywhatshoware
youwatchingwhatdidyoudotodayyesterdayeverydayareyouhappytodayetc.
andthelistgoeson..

and a 'fine thank you' isnt going to tell me anything more than what I need to know.
Isnt it?

What about me?
All I can ever manage, even at my best, is just 'haha's and more, and even more.
Want to say something else, but is it right?
Want to ask you out, but how should I put it across?
Want to make you smile, but how can I when I dont even know what to say?

(:
Tiring, isnt it?

SO CUTE !

Pictures for last week -studying!

Obviously JEANETTE hasnt been concentrating!

I look so hardworking (:

Studying with Sean.

Think I fell asleep while I was writing.

Still,I think I concentrate the best :D

I'm gonna do well!

CHARLIE BROWN.

2008-05-24T01:45:00.004+08:00

OKAY!
H1 and GP MYE OVER! :DDDDD
Of course its such a relief, although it wasnt done as well as it could have been.
Disappointment, a heavy heavy one.
):
GP was stressing me mad yesterday night and so I ____.
Its like probably the thousandth time GP has done this to me.
Always thought back on your encouragement (:
Still helps, you know?
Thanks.

I've time now.
Not alot to spare, but I've time to speak.
But dont think its any good to let out those words.
You'll let me down.
But at least, let me down gently.

Always knew you were special though.
And will always be.
(:
-

2008-05-22T20:54:00.005+08:00

History is over.

Gp tmrw.

God bless me.

( :

2008-05-20T23:33:00.004+08:00

Intensive studying for the past few days.
With the usuals over the weekend - Grace, Jeaaanettee and Novielene.
:D
Siglap and PayaLebar.

Jeaaaanette took soooo many pictures with my phone (i didnt even know)
But I just cant seem to upload cause i think my phone is spoilt
and i need a new one :D

One thing about me- I realized.
I dont look very happy when I study.
I look so super unhappy and angry and highly annoyed and frustrated.
)):

Studied with Sean today
and Kaishun joined us after and he bought food so we both were snacking
in the library instead of studying. -..-

oh yes, and i talked to yl and meow and kianhowmytwin
quite alot TODAY! :D so happy!

okay, so random.
But i'm happy with everything the way it is now.
:D
Kinda.
Truth be told, Im really glad and thankful, thankful thankful for stuff.
and other things that i shallnt say
or else it would be taken away from me if i say it aloud.
Yl said she could hear my excitement cause I kept shouting over the phone.
But I WASNT -..-

Anyway, im so grateful to kiannnnn who keeps helping me and yl with historryyy
and we both dont even keep to our datelines hahaha i feel so bad please.
): sorrryyyyy
and lots and lots and lots of thanks :D

okay i cant wait for june hols to come
lots of studying to be done though but i can take a break
really need it, really want it.

and one last thing
i really wish, home was a more attractive place to be in.

i hate home.
really shouldnt be like that.
:/

historyy time shirrrrrrr
:D

thanks
know i should be feeling anything else but grateful
but thats how i feel
i think im outofmymind but thats the only way i can feel now.
( :
cause hope breeds disappointment
dont wanna fall from the clouds
so shall stay rooted and firm to the ground.
take care you.
may not read this
but this is probably the only likely way you might come across
and if you do theres so much i want to say
but now is not the time
and when theres time here for me, you probably have no more time to listen to me
so take care
love
lovessss
loved.

The hardest thing.

2008-05-12T21:39:00.005+08:00

PRATAHOUSE! again with yiling today.
Yum yum yum yum yum yum.
Satisfaction. :D

Loving everything the way it is now.
Kinda.
Besides the taxing curriculum in school which stress me to tiny bits
makes my pimples pop like popcorns and push me to the verge of breaking down.
:D

Its so scary when the days pass so fast
zooooooomzooomzoooooommmmm
I find comfort knowing that your ~~still here~~still around.
Isnt that so selfish of me?
Time, please dont pass so fast wont you?
I'm not ready.

Then again,
I dont think I'll ever be ready.

2008-05-11T20:14:00.004+08:00

Always wondered if wondering long enough would give me an answer.

2008-05-10T15:38:00.006+08:00

Sorry.

All about decisions and choices.
Hope I made the right one.

The thing about 'right' is that it doesnt necessarily means thats what you want.
But you know, its good for you.
Maybe.

2008-05-10T00:35:00.003+08:00

Life, is its worth calculated by how much one achieve?
And I'm valued by how far I go, how smart I am and what I'll be in the future.
Is that all people can see?
Superficial and disgusting.
If thats the case, I've lost.
And Ive lost right from the beginning, maybe even before it started.

Always thought hiding behind a facade was bad enough.
Now I realized we are all, all of us are living in this huge masquerade.

I hate being in there.

In a world where sincerity has lost its meaning,
you fill my life with so much hope.
-

Met up with Dennis again today.
And guess who we saw(?!).
Someone I wouldnt fancy seeing, but amazingly, Im glad.
Because now, I know what I can want.

Feelings is the most frivolous thing in the world.
You cant trust something that fades as quickly as it comes.

Once bitten, twice shy.

Bye.

2008-05-06T20:51:00.007+08:00

~~Cant have the best of both worlds.~~

Always thought I knew what I wanted.
:/
But I've closed the door on you.

once bitten, twice shy.
-

Curiousity killed the cat;
For the second time.

2008-05-05T22:55:00.003+08:00

Curiousity killed the cat.

Curiousity?
Hah, its more than that.
Way more, so much more.

2008-04-30T22:25:00.003+08:00

I let emotions get the better of me.
Now, I feel so angry.

I wish I can scream at the top of my lungs.
But that isnt really what I wanna do. (?)
This is not the sort of anger that makes me wanna kill or vent out my frustrations
by banging on the wall or throwing everything onto the floor or screaming out loud.

This anger has rendered me helpless.
And all I am able to do, is cry.
Which makes me feel even more helpess altogether.

Maybe this isnt anger to begin with.

Disappointment, perhaps.
-

fleeting moments are, temporal.

Give it a moment.

2008-04-29T22:32:00.007+08:00

Met up with Weiyi and Meiyun on Sunday at the airport.

I realized Im cloth-less.

Need to go shopping soon.

With money, when I find some.

My favourite pose.

But I know you hate it.

Hurry come home soon.

If I want my dreams to come true, I mustn't oversleep.

2008-04-26T23:10:00.008+08:00

LOOK! My super long overdued picture.

I would steal this car if I could.
Its nothing pretty at all, but look at the plate number!
2674 :D

Dont guess.
2674 is love.
That would be the most special thing besides 25th april.

2674 is the happiest thing that ever happened to me.
:D
-

OUT WITH MELODY.

So long since we last took a picture.

(Im shy! HAHAHAHA)

UNGLAM SUPER UNGLAM.

Spidergirl.

Decent shot.

Dinner in town with Meiyun.
Guess who I saw?
GZS! Diffferrreeeennnttt, but still looking good.
Took a bus home.
-

its been a long time coming.

2008-04-23T20:36:00.005+08:00

Learning to love.

SWIMMING with Meow today. :D

Anyway, I missed the silly times.

And today, was yet another one !

We sneaked food and find some secret spot to eat, so we decided to climb

to the hostel. HAHA

And we were crawling around so that no one wld see us.

It was superly funny because I think we were rather obvious

and started laughing non-stoppp.

We all, need to learn to lighten up.

2008-04-22T22:22:00.004+08:00

Because, feelings fade.

Sorry.

-

The hottie and the nottie. (:

2008-04-21T19:34:00.004+08:00

Stomach cramps the entire day. )):
And the pink pill stained my wallet. Grr.
See, the first bad sign.
Two bad signs?
Meow said it would be both our unlucky week this week.

I knew it.
D:

Felt crappy the whole day.
So we sat at the grandstand during break.
Smuggled two cups of ribena to the grandstand.
And we were too lazy to return the cups after break..
So we threw them away into the dustbin.
HAHAHAHA SHHHH..

Study time.
-

2008-04-20T00:02:00.003+08:00

Game rules:
A. People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves. Tag 8 people. Those who are tagged cannot refuse.
B. These 8 people must state who they were tagged by. You cannot tag the person who tagged you. Continue this game by sending this to 8 other people.

Okay, I just grabbed it from jeanette's page.
Please, Im so damn bored.
I want to blog and blog and blog and blog whatever is in my head
but that would be too much to take.
So I'll just leave them in my head and do this game! :D
Should go read jeanette's answers, they are damn cute.

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
I would be so angry and annoyed(?) and sad, but more of angry I would
boxflyingkickkaratechopslappokeslaughter him and throw him into the big blue sea
to let all the animals eat him up!

Okay, the last part isnt true.

2. What will you do if you do not share the same feelings as the person who likes you?
Gently reject him but if he dont mind, we can be friends. :)
(copied from jeanette HEHEHEH)

3. What will your dream wedding be like?
It would be too beautiful, just like in my dreams. ((:

4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
Nah, I havent even got pass yesterdays.

5. What's your ideal lover like?
Ideal? Peeerrrfeccccttt.
Taller than me of course (thats not hard hahahah)
Dark Handsome Cute Silly Rich Prince Charming riding on a white horse.
(then I would be able to see the contrast) :D :D :D

Someone who loves me, loves me.
Someone who wont disappear so suddenly it throws you off.
Someone who dont come and go, then come and go again, and again..

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone else?
Being loved by someone is always nice.
But its really nice loving someone who loves you back. ((:

7. If the person you like does not accept you, would you continue to wait for them to change their feelings?
I wonder too.
Will they ever change their feelings?
I guess, it depends on how much I like the person.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
I WISH YOU LOVE. (:

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently?
Unlucky things. D:

10. What do you want most in life?
Ask me what I dont want most in life.

11. Is being tagged fun?
Im not tagged! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

12. If you find out that your best friend is going out with your boyfriend/girlfriend, how would you react?
I dont know.

13. Who is currently the most important person to you?
Friends and family.

14. What kind of person do you think I am?
?
HAHAHAHAHA Jeanettteeee issss sooooo cute and funny!

15. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
Neither. I dont like this question.
I just want to be rich. $$

16. If the person you secretly like cannot recognize you, what would you do/how would you react?
Its okay.
Cause I secretly like him. So its better if he never never knows. ((:

17. Would you give your all in a relationship?
If you ask me previously, I would definitely say no.
But now, I would say yes!
Yes. I would give my all, and even more.

Whats the point of going into a relationship and not wanting to give your all?
If I'm not ready to give my all, then I probably can do without that r/s.
(:

18. If you fall in love with two persons simultaneously, who would you pick?
You cant fall in love with 2 persons simultaneously.
haha.
At least I dont think you can.

But if I do(?). If I like 2 persons simultaneously, I would pick neither.
Like, not love.
Haha, I dont have so much love to give.

19. What type of friends do you like?
Friends, who are friends. :D

20. If you played a prank on someone, and he/she fell for the trick, what would you do?
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHA
But that would be very seldom -rare.
So I would laugh forever if someone falls for it. :D

Tag:
Whoever who wants to do it.
Cause I wasnt tagged and Im being so truthful about it.
:D

Crocodile?

2008-04-12T23:26:00.002+08:00

This week was the most unlucky week for me.
The whole entire week.
The worst news was that my ProjectWork got a very depressing C.
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))):
Im the 24%!

I was like quarelling with my dad on the way to joyce house today.
And I felt so frustrated I think I was totally ranting away at him(?)
Felt so bad when I thought about my pw and I started tearing.
Fortunately he didnt see it, it would be too embarrassing.

SIGHS.

Out with Joshua today to shop around.
Goodness, walked from town to douby ghaut to raffles to city hall then to marina.
And then train back to tampines.
Tiring walk but it was quite fun cause he is so damn lame. -..-
(cocodile WOOS)
Crazyy.
And his heart was itching to go clubbing.. but he didnt in the end.
Ate at carls junior! :D
YUMYUM.

SIGHS.

Talked and I realized its good to be like that.
Guess so.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
BYE.

2008-04-11T20:53:00.003+08:00

IM SO SAD IM SO FRUSTRATED I WISH I CAN DROP DEAD NOW.
AND I GET SO PISSED WITH THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.
OH MY FUCK.
WHATS WRONG WITH THE WORLD.

I TRY AND TRY SO HARD FOR EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD.
BUT NOTHING GETS BACK TO ME.
WTF
WHATS THE USE OF TRYING.
I JUST WANT TO SHOOT EVERYONE WHO LET ME DOWN.

WHICH IS
I WANT TO SHOOT MYSELF.
BECAUSE ULTIMATELY, I LET MYSELF DOWN THE MOST.

FUCK THIS WORLD.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.
IM SO FRUSTRATED BUT THERES NOTHING I CAN DO.
I CANT EVEN CRY BECAUSE ITS WRONG.
I CANT FUCKING CRY.

FUCK.

The Pact.

2008-04-10T20:24:00.003+08:00

Everyone needs to go for some anger management.
Seen so many angry faces these few days. D:

Anyway I take back my words for saying yesterday was the worse of the worst.
Because I know it isnt.
And I know when its gonna be.
Cause everyday I ~~pray~~ wish that there was a few more hours in a day.

'You know,' Dr Feinstein said evenly,'the mind is a remarkable thing. Just because

you cant see the wound doesnt mean it isnt hurting. It scars all the time, but it heals.'

He leaned forward. 'You dont want to be here,' he said. 'So where will you like to be?'

'With Emily,' Chris said unhesitantly.

'Dead.'

'No. Yes.' Chris averted his gaze. He found himself looking at a second door, one he had'nt noticed, one that did not lead back to the waiting room through which he'd entered. It would

be, Chris realized, the door through which he'd exit. A way out so that no one would ever

have to know he'd been inside.

He looked at Dr Feinstein and decided that someone who protected your privacy could not be all that bad. 'Where I'd like to be,' Chris said softly, 'is a few months back.'

The Pact.

I'm reading it and so loving it.

2008-04-06T23:07:00.010+08:00

You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you, Peter Pan. That's where I'll be waiting.-Tinkerbell

SATURDAY

2008-04-06T00:53:00.005+08:00

Went to joyce house in the afternoon for tuition.
Her house is soooo comfortable and inviting, esp her pink sofa and bed!
I totally fainted on her sofa after tuition. D:
Met up with Jiffsen at toapayoh to study!
It was raining so heavily and we walked such a long way before settling at Macs to study.
It was so noisy over there but I liked it (?!) because it kept me awake.
Asked Jiffsen a history qn and he started to give me a long history abt cj instead (haha).
We "bitched" for almost an hour long and joyce sat there listening to us. :0
He calls it mildbitching -..-
HAHAHAH IT WAS QUITE FUN! :D
Now I know why they like cj soooo much !

MET UP WITH KT, MYBESTBESTBESTFRIEND IN TOWN! :D
Its like ages since we meet up, but we didnt take any pictures (again).
We seldom pictures its so annoying i have so little pictures of my bf. D:
Ate at nydc! :D YUMYUMS.
Walked around town, so long since I roam on the streets already.
I feel so guilty though, for not studying.
Bf calls me a geek, but i say a notsoclever geek. :S
Anyway, bf got a problem!
And being a very good listener/adviser that I am, we talked the whole way home.
She sent me home, (sokindofher) but thats because she was very bored HEHEHEH.
:D
Hope we get to meet up soon because I miss her already!

Visited pullandbear :D
Misses!
But still, I see so many notsogoodstuff going on in there.
I feel so sad for myprettyboy because ... of some bad stuff.
GRRR
But i couldnt help laughing when he told me. Sorry! :0

Bumped into Sherlyn too, my primary school friend!
Shirleen meets Sherlyn! :D

Okay, its 1.40am already I think its late I want to start studying NOW!
When am I going to see better days?
D:

-

70 more !
D:

I forgot what it is like to fall.

2008-04-05T01:12:00.006+08:00

Terminal3toilet.

SUPERSUPERSUPERCLOSEUP.

Ran around the reservoir today. (:

School is torturing.

I'm gonna collapse from fatigue.

I MISS KARENTAN MYBESTFRIEND, NATALIELAI MY GIRL, CINDYPOON MY LAMB, DINOS AND ALL THE SAC PEOPLE!

))))))))):

Suddenly, I realized we had so much in common.

Unlike now -

I feel lost.

Miss 'em all, hope to see everyone soon ! :D

You just reminded me what it is like to fall.

2008-03-28T20:30:00.006+08:00

This is the photo Ben took like few days ago.
Asked me to act emo -..-
Thats a picture of me and yl I'm holding! :D

Anyway.
SWIMMING TODAY with melody!
Love love love love love it!
:DDDDDDDD

Goody lucks for tmr FAVOURITE!
All the wayyyyyyyy.
And to Yiling tooo for her competition!

PTM TOMMORROW! D:
PTM = parents-teacher meeting.
I'm ..... scared.
Like suuuuppppperrrrrrly scared, I could pee in my ~~pants~~ skirt.
D:

Many tests coming up next week.
I think I need to study.
D:
-

Meow and I had an interesting conversation today.
Not so interesting (?) I mean, we had it before.
But Im feeling it.

And I was distracted for the whole of Maths lecture today.
All because yl asked me to guess what is CJKHIL/CJAKHIL/CJKHIHF.
Whatever it is, the more clues she gave, the more I confused I got.
The worst abbreviations ever.
WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES IT STAND FOR?

Okay, bye.

We let our pride get in the way.
-

Everywhere I go-Katherine Mcphee

It's funny how you think you really know yourself
Like you would never lose yourself to someone else
And I was up to thinking it was all about you and me
Silly silly me
I should have never listened to a word you said
But I was always giving in to promises
I never should have gone for
I should never long for you no matter how hard it gets
And I want this to be over
I so want this to be through
In the end somehow it always comes back to you

*Cause everywhere I go
No matter what I do boy
I just can't get you out of my head
So it annoys me
(You wasn't man enough)
To come and tell me
(That I was never the one)
Like you said I was
(You could have told someone)
You knew you didn't love me anymore

If you had only told me how you really felt
I could have put my feelings into someone else
But I was busy thinkin' I was where I was supposed to be
Silly silly me
But there was something 'bout you that I couldn't resist
Can't put my finger on it but whatever it is
I never should have stood for it
I know you're no good for me
And that's the way it is
And I want it to be over
I so want it to be through
in the end somehow it always comes back to you

*
I tell myself
Get over you
It's over right
Right thing to do
And just when I thought I was done
You pull me in for another run

I can't take this
I won't take this
I can't do this
I Won't do it
Even if I know in the end somehow it always comes back to you.
*

2008-03-27T22:01:00.006+08:00

So much work to be done.
Discussing gp over the phone with sharon ytd.
And we both fell asleep on each other.
My bad sleeping habits is back again !

Pe today - GYM! :D
It was fun!

Anyways.
I just realized some lovelies do read my blog!
Surprising and touched (?).
Hello Agnes if your reading.
((:

Okay, bye.

Its all masquerade.

2008-03-24T18:27:00.005+08:00

Today, I cried in front of Melody on the way home. >.< (shy face)
Crazily stressed.
I'm so sorry I cried.
So embarrassing.

Many pictures taken with Ben's ultra cool camera today.
Hurry send me!

sometimes i wish she was you.

2008-03-22T23:36:00.008+08:00

Shopping with mummy today. :DDD
Didnt buy much though.
Meow was around the corner too, but didnt bump into her!
Saw many other people.
Like, MANY MANY familiar faces. ((:

Dinner was a pleasure. :D
Mummy eat little. )):

Loveatfirstsight.
With the vintage bagpack I saw ($148).
SHOULD I GET IT?

(inthedressingroomheehee)

MummyandMe.

WhatIworetoday.

My hair IS growing longer, right?

I cant wait for it to grow super long so I need not use nat/cindy's hair to pose as mine!

Grow hair, grow.

HAPPY EASTER! :D

icantstoplovingyou.

2008-03-22T09:33:00.013+08:00

overdued pictures. (lastweek)

Melody! (:

Shirleen!

Meow got long legs. HEHEHEHHH.

GOOD FRIDAY, 21st March 2008.

Swimming and running with Melody in the morning.

Our tann was pretty nice. :DDD

Went to yiling's church (lol) in the afternoon and the drama was pretty goood.

The 4 of us left after the service and went to eat GOODFOOD! :D

yumyum.

Yiling is eating little(?!)

HOWCOME.)):

Headed to tampines.

4ofus.

Kianhow's bald head reflects light. -..-

He looks like a ghost in this picture.

Our only nice picture!

AND THIS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. :D

Took 59 with twin to go home.

59 took forever to come.

Talktalktalktalk.

andtakestupidpictures.

On the bus home!

PS: I just realized my cheeks are getting rounder.

Roundround cheeks means Im growing fatter!

2008-03-20T21:25:00.004+08:00

Failed everything for CTS except maths.
My only 'glory' is HISTORY! which is also a fail.
But I improved tremendously :D

Thanks kian. and myself!

Brooding over my results over the last few days.
I even bawled like a child when I reached home yesterday.
TOO STRESSED AND FRUSTRATED.

But I'm over it.
Wont give up, not now.

DONT GIVEE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-
I. Dont. Understand.
??!?!?!?!?!!???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????
!!!!?!!?!?????!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!????!!?!????
??????!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!!
...........................................

I think Im the laziest person in the world.

Let go and do your work.

2008-03-16T22:47:00.005+08:00

Have you ever been forced to do something you dont want to?
Something that isnt right, but supposedly the best way.

This is how I feel.
and its hurting more than it should.

Because Ilusm, stranger.

I never fill my glass too full cause it'd be too heavy to carry.
-

I JUST LOST MY FAVOURITE EEYORE !!!!
Its a present from long long ago.
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))):

I think my mother threw it away but she wouldnt admit it.
My brother asked me to call the police.
-..-

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))):

2008-03-14T23:54:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, I met up with best friend, bestbuddy and her bf :D
Town with bf, then met up with bestbud and edwin at vivo for a movie.
But we didnt catch it in the end because we couldnt make it in time!
It was really great seeing them! :D

TODAY!

Town with my brother today to go ktv.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Been a super long time since we went out together. ((:

Met up with NATALIE, my girl at tampines for dinner.
The first news I heard from her was terribly disappointing.
More of a disaapointment than anger, I guess.
It was something to do with yesterday anyway.
Shallnt elaborate because I would only embarrass myself and expose my blatant foolishness.

It must have cracked many brains to come up with a ~~decent~~ SOMEWHAT decent apology eh?
Amusing.
Thanks anyway. Thanks for?
Thanks for everything, really everything in the world you can think of.
Seriously.
I want to thank you and maybe your alter egos?
Definitely.
I must have made your day(s).
Or do I think too highly of myself?

Anyone would be pissed off with such stuff.
I was really pissed(zzz), LIKE SUPERLY PISSED!
Cant describe how angry I feel.
Together with all the crappy feelings, I wanted to slap anyone who got into my way.
Bitchy, yeah.
But if you knew. If you knew.

Now my anger has subsided.
Has been appeased after walking round and round tampines with Natalie.
I die 10 years earlier after going through this.
No more foul language, I AM AT PEACE(with myself)!
((:

I'll await whatever comes along ! Bring it on.
Upload pictures when Natalie sends me.

And if theres a person I sincerely want to thank now, here, at this moment.
It would be Natalie, for bringing me light to this predicament.
THANKS! :D

-theend.

never thought it would be like this.

2008-03-14T00:18:00.005+08:00

[edit]
I'm done with being angry.
((:
Sorry for the nasty words.
Just that, it was a black day today.
[/edit]

13th march.
~~Only gonna play the fool one time.~~
Many. Many many times.

SO FUCKED.
YOU ARE TOO MUCH.

But of course I will always be that loser to just keep quiet about everything and not even say anything or scold you or vent out my frustrations, frustrations that you caused.
I wish I can just scream at you and whoever who makes me oh so angry, who makes a big fool out of me. Why cant I just be angry OMG why must I always keep it inside. Why am I like that. Why cant I scream at you! You deserve it. You do. I thought I was overreacting at first, but NO I AM NOT. I AM NOT. I GOT EVERY RIGHT TO BE ANGRY. CAN YOU STOP PLAYING WITH ME. PLEASE STOP PLAYING WITH ME. TREAT ME WITH SOME RESPECT. I KNOW YOU ARE PLAYING, I KNOW IT ALL ALONG. BUT YOU ARE GETTING TOO MUCH. Stop it. Dont do it. Because I really am going crazy. Yes, Im such a loser again, ranting in this damn blog I dont care if the whole world reads it and knows that Im an idiot. I am. Laugh at me please. I need to hear it. Laugh right into my face please. Thanks.

WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY.
WHY ME?!
Why not get your alter ego or whoever is with you right now, anyone you dream about day and night and cant wait to see the face or whoever you wont feel toooooo lazy to open your god damn eyes to see.

YES SHOOT ME PLEASE.
I'm so angry with you and even more so, at MYSELF.

ugh.
Dont need apologies.
Dont need anything, really dont need anything from you.
.......

I'm sorry.
Sorry for being so terribly angry and the use of words.
-

CAUSE YOU KEEP ME FROM FALLING APART.

2008-03-12T17:04:00.024+08:00

PICTURES FOR YESTERDAY! :D

Theres many many more but some are not allowed to be seen!!
HAHAHAHAHAH. :S

4 of us! (Melody, Davina, Joanna, Shirleen!)

(I took this picture! I swear I got a flair for photography.)

My hair looks like they just got out of bed. ):

((:

JOANNA AND MELODYY. :S

Joanna's willy wonka shades. -..-

(Joanna and Shirleen!)

AND FINALLY.

This mad bitch (lol!) wanted to show off all her tattoos.

But failed anyways.

MELODY! :D

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAA.

Favourite snapshot.

She allowed me to post up. ((:

Cant see her deranged eyes luckily.

OUR SPOT!

Relaxing under the coconut tree. -quoted from tranquilbaby(melody).

HAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

-theend.

Brotherbear! Know your reading, surpriseddddd.

Cheery ups! :D

Auntie's funeral yesterday, today and tmrw(lastday).

Not going tommorrow though.

Not used to it(?) and dont wanna see tears.

NAH!

Now I know what Im afraid of.

2008-03-08T19:50:00.005+08:00

"If someone makes a promise to you, and no one hears it.
Does it make a sound?"

NTU! today.
The surroundings is rather friendly and Im beginning to like it.
((:
Ah, still a long way to go.

Econs seminar was terrible.
This is gonna be the first, and also the last one Im attending. (I hope)

BUT GUESS WHO I BUMPED INTO?!
S to the K! :D
Sheng kai!
Misssseeesssss we talk and talk and talk soo much yiling asked us not to
chatter so much so we had to write on paper to keep the conversation going.
Quietly.

The trip home was a long one.
Penelope and I slept on yiling on the train.

"hey, look at your 10'o clock. they look so odd."
-the comments we got on the train.
WE WERE JUST TIRED. ):
I was so drained, and I wouldnt have got up if yiling didnt wake me up.

HOMED.

This is one of the rare days I actually stay at home.
Home, sounds oddly familiar.

Ran around the reservoir alone, although I was realllllly tiredd.
I FEEL SO HEALTHY! :D

Tanning with favourites at SENTOSA! on tues (?)
Cycling with class on friday (?)
.
.
.

Keep it going.
One week's too short.

2008-03-07T23:51:00.009+08:00

Disappointments are really, disappointing.

Its tiring.
Fucking tiring, really.

CT's are over!
Got back Chinese A'level results today.
B, for BALLOOOON!

What I did today.
-Lunch with anna at Fareast
-Met up with Meiyun at tm
-'The leap years'
-Drank _____ and got high (BALLOOOOON) and acting cute -.-
-SWING SWING SWING!

I felt that 'Leap years' was better than 'PSILOVEYOU' in a way.
Two sentences to deliver.
"Three most important words that I've learnt about life is : it goes on".

AND
"You're everything that I've dream of and everything that was wrong."

PEEKTURES! for my very crappy hertaintedlove.

Guess who?!

Shirleen and JOANNA! ((:

( had the wind/fan effect HAHA)

ANNA AND ME!

COUSIN AND ME!

Anna said my bangs grew silkier(sp?).

I THINK SO TOO :D

Right? (:

I will go crazy if I continue to indulge in false hopes.

Im going crazy.

I think im crazy already.

The Leap Year.

2008-02-28T22:36:00.006+08:00

29th feb tmrw!
How exciting.
Im kind of looking forward to it.
Although that day never really meant anything to me.
((:
Okay, I do have weird ideas forming in my mind.

CTs stressing me to tiny bits.
Shattering.
I need a bigger brain capacity.
School till 6 today!
Gosh, imagine how I survive it through.

But I did anyway.

Man on the run.
Many men in green uniform and reporters around school.
Safe and sound.

((:

-
So many, so many, so many.
So many things I wanna tell you.
So much feelings left.

Tell me how,
Help me say the words out loud.

-

12.52am now!
Its officially 29th feb now!
((:

HAPPY LEAP YEAR! :D

2008-02-27T23:33:00.008+08:00

Isn't it sad to see the love of your life falling in love with someone else?

I thought I could do it.

Breathless.

2008-02-26T20:31:00.003+08:00

COMMON TEST next week!
Its like promos all over again, and I really want to do well.
):
Its hard.
I need to concentrate.
and i suck at that.

Alevel Chinese and PW results out this friday!(?)

If i could find you now,
things would get better.

2008-02-25T21:23:00.003+08:00

Crappy.

Always.

2008-02-16T13:55:00.007+08:00

This romeo is bleeding
But you can't see his blood
It's nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up

It's been raining since you left me
Now I'm drowning in the flood
You see I've always been a fighter
But without you I give up

Now I can't sing a love song
Like the way it's meant to be
Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore
But baby, that's just me

And I will love you, baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you - Always

Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry
One that made you have to say goodbye
What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair
To touch your lips, to hold you near
When you say your prayers try to understand
I've made mistakes, I'm just a man

When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words you've been needing to hear
I'll wish I was him 'cause those words are mine
To say to you till the end of time

Yeah, I will love you baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always

If you told me to cry for you
I could
If you told me to die for you
I would
Take a look at my face
There's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you

Well, there ain't no luck In these loaded dice
But baby if you give me just one more try
We can pack up our old dreams
And our old lives
We'll find a place where the sun still shines

And I will love you, baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you - Always

This is for you.
If you ever know.

2008-01-02T20:59:00.000+08:00

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!
I feel so ~~excited~~ ______(fillintheblank) like a primary one kid
going to school for the first time.
I felt so lost in the huge crowd of equally lost j1s.
Orientation looks rather boring so far.
Yet it made me miss IG35 orientation '07.
The people and games look so much more interesting and fun! :D

Brother Paul called for all shoes to be white based.
How boring.
Luckily, I bought 2 pairs of converse yesterday and they are very white! :D

First day of school and I feel the stress piling up fast already.
Expectations, expectations and more expectations.
Aims, targets, RESULTS.
I want to quit school like NOW.
)):

Melody, darren and kh have been sneaking in and out of orientation.
I miss these faces in class.
Class is so super boring without them.
I only have yiling(CJ HAHA) as my bestest favourite for the rest of the year.
I cant believe how Im going to get through the rest of the 365-2= 363 days.

Life sucks.

Besides that, I've amazingly committed myself to every possible position/post.
Yes, amazing is the word.
Yiling used that word on me. (haha)
Seriously, I have no idea when I started to be so afraid of committments and always find means to run away from them.
But, not anymore.
I'm going to be very involved in every school activity (wells, try to) and obtain for myself a decent testimonial at the end of the year.
I can hardly wait.

I have set my targets for A'levels and I will work hard towards them.
I think I've just found my first goal in 2008.

No more distractions and whatnots.
However, I must say;
SUPERMAN SAID HI TO ME LIKE 4 TIMES TODAY! :D
Oh boy, I feel so glad.

You know.
Everyone that passes by is, superman.
HAHA so superman today isnt the same as yesterday or the day before.
It doesnt really matter anyway because Superman has too many people to save.
So they always fly away without a trace.

Just like you.

I miss.
-
[edit]
12.06am

I'm a genius.
I forgot to bring home my homework.
)):

Anyway I think I know the reason why _____ vanished.
SO RETARDED DUMB SHIT.
WHATEVER LAH.
BYE.
[/edit]

2008-01-01T21:29:00.001+08:00

2008 started so wrong.
Managed to catch a glimpse of the fireworks from clark quay.
Went to some pub with meow and colleagues from pull&bear to drink.
Dranksangplayed and left about 3 plus.

Cabbed down to SENTOSA with meow to meet ktsyyfeebiecindydenysenishakelsey
and their friends. Almost like christmas countdown.
It was fun at SENTOSA though. :D
Besides the misunderstanding with whoeverarethey.

2008 didnt start with a smile but its okay.
I hope 2008 would be easy to get through, although Im expecting
the huge amount of stress due to A's and whatsoever.
But I'll get through. ((:

Maybe I didnt really want 2007 to end so fast.
Made so many so many mistakes just when 2008 started.
Allowing myself to expect and end up disappointed.
Silly.

Strangely, I still miss _____.
Please please please let it go.
I wanna slap myself.
Because I may miss supermanbatmansandmanironmanwhateverman,
but we know its all pretend.
)))))))))))))))))))))))))):
Help me forget his name.

School starts tmrw.
I hope I still fit nicely into my blue uniform.

ALL WORK, NO TIME FOR PLAY.
Im gonna be the first to hit the books.
zoooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmm.

[edit]
Im back from packing my bag to get ready for sch tmrw!
Im feeling so super stressed I think Im gonna cry now.
Anybody done like homework????!?!?!?!?

)))))))':
ive been too caught up with pullnbear to remember about hw.
HHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW????????????

BYEEEEEEE
Im gonna do them now.
[/edit]

2007-12-31T16:49:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Hope 2008 is gonna be a peaceful(?) year for me! :D
Peaceful? Hah.

2007 was ... notsokind to me.
But I've learnt so many so many things and I'm thankful for them.
((:

We cant move forward so lets move on,
Bye Bye.

-
New year resolution?

So instead of being so afraid of ~~thisandthat~~ going through the same shit again,
lets put a stop to everything.

Its okay to walk alone. ((:

you wont find me there anymore.

2007-12-30T02:06:00.000+08:00

To whoever(s), Thanks for everything!
Hugs are love. :D

Still.
Told myself once, told myself twice.
Superman really has too many people to save.
Experienced it today (haha).
So, goodbye.

2 more days left in 2007!
May I close my eyes and dream a lil dream of you and me.
Just one more time.

2008 please come soon.
I dont mind walking alone.
((:

Time has made me strong.

2007-12-29T01:00:00.000+08:00

OUT TODAY!
witth meiyun and weiyi to tm. yiling to block 85.
Ms garfield (meow) is locked at home.
MANY PICTURES TAKEN!

I've received photos of the wedding and dinos dinner too!
:D
But Im super lazy to upload, no mood left.

2007 is drawing to an end.
I want 2008 to start with a big BANG!
And I really want to throw 2007 away.
Because its hopelessly pathetic.

But I loved.
Be happy always you! :D

Well I know you are.
HAHAHAHAHA.

(:
-

Let me get this into my head.

Superman is good.
But he has too many people to save.

(:

2007-12-28T02:25:00.000+08:00

I didn't cry the day you moved away
I didn't think that I could feel this pain
Until I saw the stranger that was you
Whatever happened to our innocence
And the somethin' that you said about being friends
Tell me how
Help me say the words out loud

Could it be That nothings gonna change
Cause time has got a way of taking back
Everything you thought you had
Can you see
The girl you used to be
The one I lost when I let go of you
Oh whatever happened toMary Jane
Ooh ooh Ooh ooh

I need to wake up from this state of mind
The situation is the same kind
I gotta get your memory out of my head
Would you catch me if I had to fall
Would you even find the time for that at all
Tell me how
Help me say the words out loud

Cause time has taken back
Everything I thought we had

-
Thats 'Maryjane' by theClickfive by the way.
Nice song with ohsomeaningful lyrics. ((:
I like.

Have been going out to late this week.
I'm waiting for many pictures to be send ! :D

HajiLane with colleagues today since Im off.
The shop that I usually visit actually belongs to my ex-colleague!
How good is that I got a discount off the pair of shorts I bought!
I'm still searching for a pretty looking bag.
Got all the time till my next pay. ($$$$$$$$$$)

Superman flew away again.
Please dont fly back anymore then.
Goodbye.

Today Regina asked me a question.
"_________________?"
Wells, it all just takes some getting used to.
Im good with how things are now.
Im strong, Im SUPERGIRL!
:D

-
I give up.
I let go.
Cause thats the only thing I can do for you.
Be happy always! :D

Big girls dont cry.
So please allow me to be little for now.

2007-12-26T00:41:00.000+08:00

24th DECEMBER!
Cousin's wedding.
Countdown at vivo with karendenysecindykelseynishafeebie.
Clubbed with them&theirfriends at Redspotmuseum.

Only 3 hours of sleep for the past few days before rushing to work today.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! :D

esp to you.
Probably Christmas was too merry for you, you forgotten to wish
a merry one to me.
Hope you have the sweetest christmas babe.

Its not easy trying to catch up with superman.
I know I cant.

2007-12-24T00:36:00.000+08:00

Christmas with dinos was love.
<333

Im the most tired person on earth now.

Superman is good.
But he has too many people to save.

2007-12-22T02:29:00.000+08:00

Pardon me for the language.

Today, I met into a CBF DOG(bitch) who complained
about my colleagues and in particular, me who is the only one working in
the women's. Melissa gave us a lecture and ~~demanded~~ asked for an
explanation for my so-called bad service.
I was so pissed I almost cried in front of ~~everybody~~ people.
But of course I didnt, it wasnt worth it for this unknown bitch.
I kept arguing with my manager cause I felt so maligned.
Maybe she should question her own attitude and ponder why she could have
something against the entire shop, to each and every salesperson.
Then she can gradually realize she's the problem.

Besides that, I have to work extra hours. Instead of the morning shift
I was supposed to have, I worked FULL. Imagine having to force out a
smile after getting ticked off for something you didnt even know you done.
Please give me a fucking break.

I always thought I was keeping up the perfect facade.
Like a mannequin, trying to give my best.
However I finally understand that its no use being nice to people who wont
return that kindness to you.
I totally didnt expect a complaint from that sialan face of hers.
Frankly speaking, I'm ______.(insertemotionhere)
I feel so overwhelmed with all the shit that has been coming my way.

December was supposed to be kind and easy and loving, remember?

Meeting my lovelies tmrw to celebrate an early X'MAS! ((:
Those who can make me smile, who are always there.
Those who wont come and go, who never disappears without a trace.
My lovely dinos.
<33

~~"And everyone can see that I really fell~~
And I'm going through hell
~~Thinking about you with somebody else"~~

2007-12-21T01:08:00.000+08:00

SALES START TODAY!

I hate .

I'm tired.

Nostalgia.

2007-12-18T23:36:00.004+08:00

Isnt it silly to still be waiting, to still love?
I miss you.
But I'm not the one your heart is missing.
I should let it go.
Let it go.

Why does life keep letting one down, disappointing you over and over again?
I tried.
Smiled it through, acknowledge and accepted.
But I feel like I'm living through disappointment after disappointments.
Getting over one just to go through another.
At least, let me down gently.

I wanna run away.

25 mintues too late.

2007-12-18T01:15:00.000+08:00

Stocktake supposed to end at 1 or 2am but we finished before 1am!
:D
Wasnt as tiring as I thought it was.
After this week, life would get easier I hope.

December has been so boring.
But I've come to ~~know~~recognize about alot more things.
I am not stereotyping nor am I judging from my superficial experience.
Because seriously, I cannot find any other reason to think otherwise.
I dont understand.
I HATE.

Yet I really wish I could be more like them.

Wont go home without you.

2007-12-17T01:34:00.000+08:00

Retail therapy is best.
But I can no longer enjoy that luxury soon.
)))))))))))))))))))))):
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$?

FRIDAY! Dempsey Hill with all Pull&Bear stuff after work.
Exciting dares ! Cabbed home at 3am.($?!)
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Next week is very filled with work.
I feel like ~~superwoman~~ supergirl.
Still young, someone said.
((:

I cant make it for the 4/8'06 gathering and IG35outing!
)))):

I received a present from one of my colleague.
Its the first present I received for this festive season.
Wonderful.
I feel so happy. :D

CHRISTMAS IS COMING !
May you have the sweetest christmas ~~this~~ every year.

We're empty.

2007-12-13T22:35:00.000+08:00

Monday(10th) - SENTOSA! with Ella Hendrick & Alex.
FUN:D

Tuesday(11th)/Wednesday(12th) - Partyworld! & ClassChalet & WORK. FUN? :D
Saw many faces I miss alot esp twin. (:

Thursday(13th) - OFF ! :D
Hibernate the whole day at home.
Too tired to move.

Next week work is gonna be the most tiring thing that happen to me.
Tuesday, I'm going shopping with Shiyu.
SALES WILL START BY THEN ! :DDDDDDDDDDDDD

22NDDECCHRISTMASWITHDINOSLOVE!
-

For everything left unsaid;
We'll leave it just there.

Somebody's me.

2007-12-10T00:38:00.000+08:00

1week1day and counting.
Oh well, it isnt exactly something to be happy about.
At least I'm not.
I shall not talk in circles.
You.. yes, you.
You make me so sad.
)))))))))))))))))))))):
Besides that, I figured something out.
But of course its just one of my wild imagination again.
So creative aint it?

OFF TMRW!
Senotsa with Ella! Hendrick! Alex!
But the weather's been horrid, we'll ~~sun~~rain tan instead.
We'll still be meeting (ohsoearly!) and decide what to do next.
Wells, I suppose Im looking forward to it. (:

FK visited me at work today and bought chocolates to cheer me up. (?)
When I first started work, my colleague said 'whydoyoualwayssmiledontyoucry?'
Now she asked me to smile more.
Its getting harder to wear a smile now.
Sorry.

Ended work 7 plus today and dinner with Hendrick at Heeren.
Walked around and we saw the longlost Jason who will come back on 16th! (:
Trained back to tampines and met up with Joshua for a while.
Walked around the new shops at tm and I saw LISAGOH&LAURA!
Met up with Shiyu after everything to get something from her and discuss
about the next IG35OUTING!
Its been so long since we all met up and have some good fun :D

Lastly, classchalet starts tmrw to wednesday.
Better be fun and meowandIandkhcandrinkandgethightogether.
4/8'06 meeting on Saturday but I cant make it cause I've got work.
Its quite sad that work is taking up 3/4 of my life I feel like such a loser.
But when I think of the money.. $$$
Everything would be okay. (:

I cant wait to go shopping spree again.
Soon please.
21stdec DINOS CHRISTMAS DINNER TENTATIVE.
Besides that, meeting with Nat&Cindy or _____ or ______.

But whatever it could be.
Christmas, I dont like you.
):

"And everyone can see that I really fell
And I'm going through hell
Thinking about you with somebody else"

2007-12-09T01:56:00.000+08:00

"You're the one who set it up now you're the one to make it stop
I'm the one who's feeling lost right now
Now you want me to forget every little thing you said
But there is something left in my head
I won't forget the way you're kissing
The feeling's so strong were lasting for so long
But I'm not the man your heart is missing
That's why you go away I know"

Work is getting so ugly.
Had cramps the entire day working.
But Im so thankful for work because it keeps me busy, very busy.

Visitors always make my morningdayeveningnightdawn!
:D

I cant wait to see people next week!
All the pretty lil faces I will meet next week!

PS: I got the urge to approve yl's comment, its the first comment she left me in weeeeeeeks but I dont think Im allowed to do so because it isnt good for anyone or maybe Im just being paranoid and dumb but I still dont think its very nice and pleasing so NO.

I learnt a new phrase today.

DONT BE SO BORING!

Im not the one your heart's missing.

2007-12-08T01:07:00.001+08:00

I bought my dress!!! :D
Nothing special, its very simple actually.
But I like.

After shopping through town after work, I still like this best.
Forever21 sells nice dresses too (((:
Went to Club21 to visit Joshua cause its one of the rare days I finish work so early.
They were having a sale but there was more staffs than customers HAHA.
Headed to HajiLane after town cause I wanted to buy my vintage bag that I wanted like long long ago but its gone!
SOLD. ))))):

oh sadness.
Rushed back to tampines cause I wanted to get my wallet.
I bought my guesswallet too! :DDDDDDD
Its a really really simple one, but I like!

Retail therapy is the best thing in the world.

MOOD: CONTENT. -beams :D
-

Christmas might not be that boring after all.
Im invited to parties! (alex's and hendrick's)
Sounds fun, doesnt it?
I thought so too but somehow..

Maybe Im just greedy.

Sentosa with Alex, Hendrick and Ella (and meow?) next monday.
Tentative.
Cause Meow is shy. ((:
AND CLASS CHALET AND SEC4/8'06 BBQ NEXT WEEK!
All fun! :D

-
You dont see me.

Tonight's gonna be tough to get through.
Because.

You dont see me.
-
Thats why you go away I know.

2007-12-07T00:05:00.000+08:00

OFF TODAY! (Thursday)
Ate at 85 with my favourite Meow.
I'm so happy, we ate a whole lot of foood glorious food! :DDDD
Bought drinks from 7/11 and walked to my house.
We were damn high, as in very very high.
SUPERHIGH WE WENT CRAZY.
Shoutingsingingdancingdrinkinghugginglaughing EVERYTHING
except crying. :DDDDDDDDD
It felt good.

I cut bangs again! ((:

MONDAY(3rddec)
Tampines with SiewCheng, Daphneandhergf (sweetness).
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Long lost picture from Edwin's bbq night.
Eric took some photo which was supposed to make me look good.
SUPPOSEDLY.

~~Ugly.~~
Notsonice. ((((((((:

With every worthless word, we get more far away.

STEAMBOAT with dinos tmrw? :DDDDDD
Im gonna eat until I get back my fatface.

-
Im smiling. ((:
Are you?
I'm trying veryveryvery hard to keep it up.
Im learning to ~~letgolivewithoutyourloveacceptsmilebefine~~
be the person I was before I met anyanyanyany one.
What about you?
Have you found someone new babe?
Does she make you smile better?
((:

"How do you prepare, when you love someone this way,
to let them go a little more each day?"

So far, we are so close.

2007-12-06T01:09:00.000+08:00

So close, Jon McLaughlin

You’re in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I’m with you
So close to feeling alive

A life goes by
Romantic dreams will stop
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
And now you’re beside me and look how far we’ve come
So far we are so close

How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We’re so close
To reaching that famous happy end
And almost believing this was not pretend
Let’s go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close
And still so far

((:
A song in 'Enchanted', i like.

I found the perfect dress to wear for my cousin's wedding today.
SHOULD I GET IT?
(((((((((((((((((((((((((:

Closing at 1030 this december.
Life's hard.
But everything's doing just fine.
I'm ~~happy~~ contented.

I'm currently munching on my chocolate-peanut donut.
It doesnt taste as disgusting as it sounds.
I'm eating bigger meals nowadays cause I need them.
Seriously.
Esther (yl's friend) said I was skinnier and my mother would send
me to the hospital if I got any smaller.
It was scary. ))))))))))))))))):
So, feed me.
Hendricks said to eat more fried stuff, chocolate, icecream the usuals.
But I think I'll gain pimples instead of weight.
So, no.
Life's tough.

-
Yesterday(s).
Today.
The next day.
Everyday..
I miss you.

2007-12-01T22:46:00.000+08:00

MAROON5 "Nothing Lasts Forever"

It is so easy to see
Dysfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls
Before the sadness kills us both

I tried and tried to let you know
I love you but I'm letting go
It may not last but I don't know
Just don't know

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

A bed that's warm with memories
Can heal us temporarily
The misbehaving only makes
The ditch between us so damn deep

Built a wall around my heart
I’ll never let it fall apart
But strangely I wish secretly
It would fall down while I'm asleep

Tough we have not hit the ground
It doesn't mean we're not still falling,
Oh I want so bad to pick you up
But you're still too reluctant to accept my help
What a shame, I hope you find somewhere to place the blame
But until then the fact remains

It hurts, but it may be the only way.

2007-11-30T00:30:00.000+08:00

29thnov

WORKISSOTIRING!
Other than that, theres nothing much to say.
Goodnights!

-
Sometimes I wish my heart could speak so I wouldnt have to find the words to fit in.

___________,(fillintheblank)
I 12152205 you. And theres so much I want to say. Its quite sad to know that all I can ever do for you is _______. And thats all we ever talk about actually. Sometimes I wonder if there is really anything else you could talk to me about. Dont you have anything more to say? Hanging up the moment you're done makes me feel so blatantly used. What was appalling was that day. Its frightening to know that I'm loving a person like this. So disappointing, hurting, angry, (insertallthenegativeemotions). Maybe this is what you will say, over-reacting. I dont deny. Because what can I say, when its someone who means the world to you, yet you probably mean nothing. But thats fine, its okay. But being treated this way? Of course it hurts, it kills. Sometimes I really wish you could be there when I need you. Its quite sad you can never spare a minute or two just to really hear what I wanna say. I'm supposed to be fine with that --- yes I was, until ? What can I say? I miss you. I miss the person who I thought, was you. What am I supposed to do when you come and go? Saying words as and when you like, taking them back when it dont feels right anymore. Is it supposed to be like that? What do I wanna ask? I wanna ask, if you like someone else? It doesnt really matter, does it? Cause I dont even know what is real. Answering it myself would have been much easier. Why has things become so bad, so bad till I allow myself to feel so worthless and low? It seems whenever something goes wrong, the first person I will think of is you. But of course you will never be there. Its only me who foolishly think you might be, or you could/would spare that minute or two after _____ to talk. Seems like a fruitless wait. And then I realized, I dont matter. Dont matter, at all. Not one bit. Took me so long to comprehend, to finally understand it was all pretend. Whatever said, whatever happened, was all pretend. I dont even know what I am anymore. I dont even recognize myself. I've become a toy, a robot. Trying to do what I can, whats left, but all I can do is nothing. Thanks for making me feel so worthless.

Destroying all the perfect pictures I've painted of you, perfect moments I've painted with you. The person I love most? HAHA. I dont want this.

"If you still care at all, don't go, tell me now. If you love me at all, don't call. Then out of nowhere, put me right back there. "
- creditstodenise.

-

Almost believing this is not pretend.

2007-11-28T16:41:00.000+08:00

SICK! for the past 2 days.
)))))))))))))))))))))))))):
Its a terrible feeling when you have to continue working.

But I did it! And I even managed to climb home myself.
((((((((((((((((((((((((:
I wont fall.

Saw many familiar faces ytd at work but it was all on the wrong day.
Wasnt in the mood to talk or whatever, just wanted to get home asap.
Sorry!

Well. Other than that, I.. Came to know about ? Or wake up from ?
When harsh reality thrusts itself upon you, it hits you hard.
You realised. You understand. You acknowledged. And you accept.
You make me feel so worthless babe.

Worthless?
1. without worth; of no use, importance, or value; good-for-nothing
2. Low; despicable.

In simpler terms, cheap. Empty. Futile. Wretched.
In much simpler or rather blatant terms, Negative. Minus.

Whatever it is. Its time I get it.
This was all pretend.

"If you still care at all, don't go, tell me now. If you love me at all,
don't call. Then out of nowhere, put me right back there. "
-credits to denise! (:

2007-11-26T23:53:00.000+08:00

Caught 'Enchanted' today.
Magical.
But the princess is so foolish to choose to live in reality than her fairytale.
Somewhere where 'happily ever after' exists.
Silly, but I still fancy the show cause it made me laugh.
LAUGHED OUT LOUD.
(:

November, I prayed for you to be kind to me but you
brought disappointments after disappointment.
Getting over one just to get through another.

Oh I cant wait for you to end.

The greatest news today is Alex can switch shifts with me
on christmas eve! (((((((((((:
Ohsokindofhim. THANKS!
But of course on one condition which is ___________(fillintheblank)

Actually I dont know whats going through my mind, like why in the world did I switch shifts for to be free on christmas eve when I know its gonna be ohsoboring and saddening to see happy people thronging down the streets and getting so high with someone they must have love so so much and while I watch people bask in happiness i will lament about my sick and tiring life which I would gladly dump into the dustbin and exchange it for something worth more, yes definitely more than this worthless shit. I know Im supposed to be contented with what Im have, but sometimes you just cant help it when everything goes wrong at the same time, and at a time where things suppose to turn out right. Right? What does 'right' means, what is 'right' supposed to be like I wonder. Maybe its never 'right' because I expect too much and thats why disappointments come about, letting me down and allowing tears to fall. Too many blanks to be filled in this perfect facade Im trying so hard to keep up its so worn out and long overdued its gonna fall apart if I try any harder. Yet I will have to put on my best smile the next day and keep it plastered on my face till the time when all the lights are out and I can sulk all I want in my sleep and have scary nightmares instead of happilyeverafter fairytales that I have always been waiting for. See, isnt reality so sad I almost wish I was a princess having the perfect life everyone would die for. Santa thats my wish every year but my only wish this year is please let december be kind and sweet and loving and easy to get by. That sounds so greedy but maybe just one thing that is gonna make me smile from the heart till the end of 2007, like the best thing which I've been hoping for but hardly say out. In fact, never. Yes Im gonna hope pray wish beg dream think wait anticipate the best thing to happen.

Wow what a huge chunk of words.
Whoever read that will have a headache now.
Tmr morning shift Im gonna catch some beauty sleep.
December is gonna be so good.
(:

2007-11-26T00:49:00.000+08:00

25th november Sunday

FRIDAY (23rdNov) was great! :D
Happy birthday Edwin! Hope you like the top!
The greatest night ever.

Talks with dinos is always so great. ((((:
Made me realized, or rather..
At last I said it out, loud.
Loud enough for myself to hear what I've been hiding since forever.

Bittersweet.
Thats what I feel after indulging in reminiscence.

My biggest regret was __________(pleasefillintheblank).
And, what do I mean to you?
So worthless babe.

Anyway. 2674's birthday is coming! (11thjan) :D

To the person I love most, I miss you.
(:

haha but who is the person I love most?

-
Saturday was sick.
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))):
And full shift SUNDAY.
Wahlao I hateithateithateithateithateithateithateit.
Work sucks.
Colleagues are fine, all fun.
But.. ____________________________(pleasefillintheblank)

OMFG I NEED A LISTENING EAR.
~~A ear which listens.~~
A ear who will be there to listen.
Oh goodness, just fill in the blanks.
-.-

_______________________________
_______________________________
_______________________________
_______________________________
_______________________________(fillintheblank)

Goodnights world.

2007-11-22T22:48:00.000+08:00

[/editedit]

OKAYOKAYOKAYOKAY.
Im not asking. Not asking? Not asking.
Dontwantttoask, dontdaretoask, dontcaretoask.

Because I can answer the question myself.
Thanks.

Its like a Maths question your trying so hard to figure out.
And you're dying to know the answer just before the exams.
So you asked everyone/anyone.

And after all the trouble, you realized you knew the answer all along.
Its as easy as that.
But you just had to complicate.

[/editedit]

-
[edit]

Wells.
Maybe Im not gonna ask.
Oh fuck it.
We'll see later.

[/edit]

2007-11-22T21:56:00.000+08:00

I miss someone alot alot alot alot alot.
Its been so long since we met.

MELODY I MISS YOU !
((:
Oh goodness how many days since we went out together.
The last time we talked was ....
THAT DAY on the phone.

So lazy to repeat myself ever since.
It was pure madness that day.
The tears were running like the tap, nonstop nonstop.
But now its dried up and very fine. ((:

Pull&bear had a newcomer today, Jerome.
Dont really fancy him.
I super hate work now.
All my weekends are taken up -AFTERNOON&FULL shift.
Even on christmas Im the only one working A&F.
wtf.
justbecausetheysayialwayssmiledonticrytheydumptheseshittome.
doesthatmeanimnevergonnabereturnanygoodnomatterhowniceitrytobe?
beingtakenadvantageofbeingplayedbeingtreatedlikeafoolatoyadustbin.
Is this all Im made of?

I dont really want this anymore. ):

Apart from that, at least someone is very nice at work.
Found kinder ~~surprise!!!~~ bueno in my bag when I got home.
THANKS. (((:
FK came to find me after work and went home tgt.

So I didnt ~~pop~~ ask the question after all.
Cause Im soscaredsosillysoafraidoftheanswersostupidtostillhope.
SO CHICKEN LAH SHIRLEEN.

Okay, im gonna ask later.

EDWIN'S BIRTHDAY BBQ TMRW!!!!!!! :DDDDDDD
I'll have to fly there after work, and crawl to work the next day.

)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))):
Oh goodness. All for the sake of money.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
I wish I was a rich girl!

-
superman flew away.

2007-11-21T21:44:00.001+08:00

I've got a question and I really really really want to know the answer to it.
But then again, I could do without it I suppose.

Okay, Im gonna ask, know it and live with it.

I wanna lock myself at home for the whole month of Dec.
cause im so tired and broke.

Show me the money!
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Gallery.

2007-11-20T22:39:00.000+08:00

Monday - Vivocity & town with hendrick.
Tuesday -Work (sawclassmates!) (: & dinner with kt.
Wednesday - OFF & dinner with FK(?)

Oh my, so lazy to even move my fingers.
Work's been so tiring and annoying.
Esp those #$%(@#$)!#) customers.
Alot of things happened today.
ALOT, good and bad.

Its been bitchy at work too.
HEHEHEHEHEHEH .
Fortunately, I live in my own little bubble. ((:
Safe from trouble, I hope.

Actually, life's really boring.
I'm just waiting for my money$$$$ and the sale.
HAHAHAH.

-
Whenever anything happens, I'll think of you.
But its not supposed to be this way already.
Cause you wont be there anymore.

Complex simplicity.

2007-11-19T01:11:00.001+08:00

OFF DAY TMRW! ((((((:
AtlastAtlastAtlastAtlastAtlast.
I almost died today man, falling sickk.
Please call the ambulance SOS.
NO MORE SAW4 tmr, cause I highly doubt my ability to sneak in.
Going VivoCity with Hendricks instead!

Heard many bedtime stories from Reyna (mycolleague!)
Interesting, yet.
SuperannoyingandupsettingnotpleasingtotheearsOMFGfuckingshit.
And terribly heartbreaking.
Well, its just yet another shattering piece of news.
)))):

Supper with Alex at macs(?!) after work and we talked about alltheshitinpullandbear.
Waited for 5 tgt and homed.

And now that Im home, something that I've been waiting for didnt come.
How sad, but its okay.
Nothing much, nothing matters, nothing can compare to ______(pleasefillintheblank).

My initial post was,
I MISS YOU.
Yes, so entirely so much so foolishly so madly.
But I'll have to take that back.

Sighs.
Apparently, I dont know what I want either.
So,
Dear Santa, please let me know what I want.
Thats my only wish this year.
HAHA.

Goodnights world.
Its time to crawl under my warm and fuzzy blanket and dream a sweet lil dream of whatevermakesmehappy.
:D

If thats okay with you.

2007-11-18T01:17:00.000+08:00

"asdf says:
its like you like fish, he like chicken
asdf says:
you gve him the best fish, he will not like
asdf says:
lol
asdf says:
what a good example eh! "

Copied a part of the convo of dee and karen.
Wise words from bf.
HAHAHAH so cute please.

Familiarface/newfoundfriend Joshua came to visit me at work today.
With DONUTS! -cookies&cream,strawberry and the smiley face(my fav!)
(((((((((((((((((((((:

Met up with my girl after work and took some pictures with the christmas lightings.
Beauuuutiffffuuuullll. :D
Aww Christmas is gonna be so lonesome this year.
)))))))))))))))))))))))))):

A tired face.
I tried to hide but it shows.
Cause every single soul at work kept asking me if i was okay(?).
Full shift tmrw.
Omg please give me a break.
-.-

Okays time to think what I wanna ask from santa this year.
goodnights.

Cause 'we' wont be you and me.

2007-11-16T22:18:00.000+08:00

WORK WORK WORK.
Although I've been late and getting many scoldings and blackfaces. ):
So tiring all of these, not solely because of work.
Lunch with Jason and FY, heard gossips and complaints.
((:
Now I know.

Met up with Nat(my girl) & KT(bf!) these 2 days.
IT WAS LOVE!

NATALIE&SHIRLEEN.

KT&SHIR.

Next week would be exciting!
Saw4 with Hendricks, Seoul garden with (imnotsupposedtoblogouthaha)
and EDWINS BIRTHDAY! (((:

AND Freddie is quitting next week too ))):
How sad is that, no more breakfasts, no more shittalks,
no more getting high during M8.
So boring already buddy.

-
Life is getting too routine, I feel like a walking zombie.
No more excitements, no more emotions.
Frankly, Im so damn tired.
The worst of it all, it would be you of all people to ask me 'what?'
Because I try and I try and try and try and try and try.
And when there's nothing for me to try for anymore..
I give up.

I want to forget.
Cause now I finally know and understand, 'we' wont be you and me.
no matter how much ilu.
-

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.
Ifeelsofuckingcheapcheapcheapcheap.
CHEAPLIKEFUCK.
Ifeelsofuckingweak,allthesefuckingtears.
Cryingsohardfor?
FUCK.
Imsuchafuckinglosertomakemyselflooksofuckingcheap.
IevenhatethewayIamnow.
Fuckingcheap.

whatamisupposedtdowhenitisntmeanymore?
notgoodenough?notprettyenough?
hahsilly.
pleasestopcryingyourselfsilly,shirleen.
thanks.

IMOKAY.IMOKAY.IMOKAY.IMOKAY.
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

2007-11-12T22:50:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time, MotherDog told BabyDog 'Happiness is on your tail'.
Thus, BabyDog started running in circles everyday, trying to catch his tail.
However, he soon got tired and weary as he never seem to be able to catch happiness no matter how hard he tried.

BabyDog then went to ask MotherDog "Mummy, how do I get happiness?"
MotherDog replied:
"All you have to do is walk forward, and happiness will follow."
(:

-
9 13-9-19-19 3-15-12-9-14.

2007-11-12T00:31:00.000+08:00

Natalie and her boy visited me at work yesterday!
It was warren's birthday! :D
I finally took pictures with my girl in the fitting room!
Colin and zs also popped by.
I love work now! ((:

Town with meowws.
No pictures taken at all?!
)):
Found superman!

12th nov.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIANHOW! :D
My twin has finally turn seventeeeenn !
He is having a party tmrw at macs, how cute is that.
((:

1. SAW4 with Hendricks next weeeeekk!
That is if I can even get in -.-
HEHEHEHEH how do I make myself look 21.
HMMMMMMMM Any suggestions?
2. Seoul garden with classs next tues.
3. EDWIN'S BIRTHDAY BBQ! Its supposed to be a surprise so he shall not see this.
HAHAHAHA. Cant wait.

Okays Im off tmrw ! How lucky .
And Im so into 'Stairway to heaven' again.
Some sappy korean show. Sobs sobs.
But I still like so Im gonna watch it like nowwww!

-
看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着
你的身影这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳还是会绕
没有理由我也能自己走

你要离开我知道很简单
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开那能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白

2007-11-09T22:19:00.000+08:00

Have I waited just for this ?
Silly.
Maybe I should just let go.
Give it up Shirleen.

I wish I was as invisible as you made me feel.

Work is getting dangerously fun.
I like! ((:

The greatest piece of news today is that I can see my cat everyday next year!
:D

2007-11-03T23:45:00.000+08:00

Like a mannequin, I'll have to keep on smiling.
Hiding behind the perfect facade that I desperately try to keep up.

It used to be easy.
But its getting harder and harder.

Im so sorry I cant do it anymore.

-
"Am I not pretty enough
Is my heart too broken
Do I cry too much
Am I too outspoken

Don't I make you laugh
Should I try it harder? "

2007-11-03T01:35:00.000+08:00

2nd Nov

First day of working.
Saw many familiar faces tody, was great seeing them! ((:
However, today was awful.
It is the worst day ever.

I totally broke down with Meow on the other line.
Imagine in the middle of town, alone.
FUCKKK.
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))):

I NEED SOMEONE BADLY.
I NEED YOU.
Really do.

But where are you ?
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))):

2007-11-01T22:51:00.000+08:00

"We are sometimes very strange people. The only thing we want to say, and the one thing that we should say, is the one thing we don't say. Yet the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are driven to use other words and signs to say what we really mean. And many times the meaning never gets communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved. "

Interesting, and true.

Hello November.
Please be kind to me.

((:

-
Sometimes things happen so suddenly, it catches you by surprise.
It catches you unaware, you are at a loss of what to do.
But ultimately, it doesnt really matter.
Because you are not the only one who is left clueless.

Dont base everything solely on feelings.
You should never trust feelings implicitly, because they can change almost immediately.
That is why they are always the one to let you down.

What a random and emo entry.

Work starts tmrw.
Pullandbear at Ngee Ann City, please come visit. (:
HAHA.
Off to bed, tmrw is gonna be a long and tiring day!
Goodnight.

You dont know.

2007-10-31T23:24:00.000+08:00

< /3

I let my love go unexpressed.

2007-10-27T22:59:00.000+08:00

Tanning was cancelled because it was raining in the morning. ):
Meow came to my house and we left at 4 to go shopping ! ((:

Meow bought yellow skinnies while I bought light grey.
Bought stuff for work.
So annoying, spending before I start earning $$.
We also went Haji Lane and started browsing at all the vintage and
pretty looking stuff. ((:
I cant wait for work to start and then I'll earn lots of money !!

What a fruitful day.
So old school yo, according to Meoww.
Aww, I'll miss this catish friend of mine next year. )):

CLASSIC POSE BY MELODY.

I'm so gonna miss her next year.

Getting high, bus rides home, late nights out, eatingALOT.

Piao-ing(?!), sleeping, dressing up, camwhoring etc.

Aww. Everything's all gonna change.

We wont be doing so much of those tgt anymore. )):

I hope we dont drift too far though. :D

I'm so thankful for favourites, esp that cat.

Always calling me a SOB = son of a bitch.

Annoying.

But yet, always there to listen to my ohsoboring stories that

I repeat a thousand over times.

Now, she can recite to me already. How cool. ((:

Making time for my lastminute outings, and getting so gancheong

with me over nothing. ( like ytd HAHAHAA)

I never liked cats, cause I think they look so evil.

But I love this one .

ALOT.

"If you only knew

What I knew but couldn't say

If you could just see

The part of me that I hid away"

Cause sometimes its easier to hide.

But isit too foolish to hide away just because your afraid ?

2007-10-27T00:05:00.000+08:00

24thoct2007

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAT, MY GIRL! :D

So sorry, I couldnt celebrate your birthday with you.
But we'll make it up soon!
I really missed you, and its been a super long time since we
last took a picture together!
Hope you read this message love!

<3
-

26th october 2007

TOWN TO PENINSULAR, AND BACK TO TOWN with colin.
Plucked my eyebrows! ((:

Dinner with cindy at TM!

Tanning and shopping with meow tmrw! ;D

!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!!??!?!?!??!?
???????
!!!!!!!!!
?!!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
......................
))))))): ?
(((((((: ?
Ah, its times like this when I understand what yl meant.
You just cant find the right words to say.
Someone please explain to me.

This is how a heart breaks.

2007-10-20T16:13:00.000+08:00

"When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound.
When a window shatters, a table leg breaks, or when a picture falls off the wall it makes a noise.
But as for your heart, when that breaks, its completely silent.
You would think as its so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole world, or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a cymbal or the ringing of a bell.
But its silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain.

If there is a noise, its internal.
It screams and no one can hear it but you.
It screams so loud your ears ring and your heart aches.
It trashes around in your chest like a great white shark caught in the sea;
it roars like a mother bear whose cub has been taken.
Thats what it looks like and thats what it sounds like, a thrashing, panicking trapped great big beast, roaring like a prisoner to its own emotions.
But thats the thing about love - no one is untouchable.
Its as wild as that, as raw as an open flesh wound exposed to salty sea water,
but when it actually breaks, its silent.
You're just screaming on the inside and no one can hear it.
But yourself. "

-
IDAMNFUCKINGHATECJ.
TOOEAGERTOPUSHTHEGRADESUPANDKICKINGOUTANYSTUDENT.
FUCKIT.DAMNTHESCHOOL.
IMGONNAMISSMYBABES.
):

-

2007-10-16T21:52:00.000+08:00

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))):

Today is a very, very sad day.

If I could find you now,
things would get better.

I can only give you a love that lasts forever.

2007-10-15T00:38:00.000+08:00

)))))))))))))))))))))))))):

When I said go, I dont mean away.
Of course I dont wanna see you walk away.
But thats about the only thing I can ask of you.
As the days pass, the more I see your lies screaming at my face.
I dont know how to continue living in self-denial.
Cause I cant even trust myself anymore.